Y Saturday, December 03, 2005Y
7:14 AM
Hi! Hahaz.. just came back from orchard with my mum.. lots of sale going on over there, and the clothes there are relatively cheap, within budget i should say.hmm, firstly went to far east plaza.. just the level 1 alone is enough to break my legs. So many shops, with nice clothings.. but all not my style and type de.. i think i should learn to put on some make-up and wear some even more revealing clothes and stop "packaging" myself in all those tops that will safely cover my broad shoulders.. i saw how some other people who are physically bigger wore tops that are really revealing, and i always seemed to wonder where they gathered all their courage from.. i mean, dont they feel uncomfortable? dont they feel paiseh? perhaps i think too much, like what my mum always say.. she kept urging me to wear more sleeveless tops and even halters! And i would always answer her this, "it's too revealing.. and my shoulder so broad, wear like this nt nice de..", and she would always say this, "you are not fat, it's just that your bones are bigger and shoulders broader, so you should just be brave enough to wear more revealing stuffs.." After much thought, i thought what she said made sense.. im seventeen.. going on eighteen ten months later.. and i should learn to doll myself up! yes, ive made up my mind. im gonna be a different me! hahaz..
Mum told me to find a boyfriend in university asap.. hahaz.. shen jing.. this kind of thing goes by feeling de. And somemore, those guys in uni are all ang-moh type de.. and i cant communicate well with other ppl in eng! hahaa. fumin, if ever one day you are becoming a nun, give me a call ok. i will go with you. set. :/ Dont even know if i can squeeze my way into uni. haiz..
I always rmb jiahui and me having this conversation on being an old virgin, and that we will nt get married cuz no one wants us.. hahaz.. if she cant find her soul mate, then i can forget it too. so fumin, dont worry. there's still me here. but seriously speaking, im kind of worried about my future.. i havent got the least idea what my future life would be like.. but somehow i've got this feeling that it wont go too smoothly. am i being too paranoid? maybe...
Time's passing by so fast, im getting older.. everything around me is ageing.. i wished there's this pill that can make me stay a baby forever, where i dont have to worry about things around me..
There's too much to worry. And i know i shouldnt worry.
Saw this thing just now.. and this is what it says of me.
You guys are the most incompatible people in the world. You are so strong, physically and mentally. You often have big-aims. You will work hard and will think it's still hard to get there, even if you already have gotten there! You are respected by others. You were however very naughty in your childhood, and often got beaten up by your parents and had been involved in fights and you seemed to have suffered lots of injuries. But when you grow older you become calm and will fall into the quiet and dignified macho type. Love is not an easy matter for you. You are however good in engineering or banking jobs because people always trust you. Your family life is very good, but you will always worry over your children. Your finer qualities are that you are humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate. You are born to achieve targets and serve every one equally without any prejudice. You are a role model for everyone.
I think it's true, but not the part where i often got beaten up by parents and involved in fights and suffering lots of injuries ok.. the others are really true i think.
Another day gone. What have i done? Absolutely nothing.
Disappointed in myself. True disappointment.